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BMW M5 Competition Package

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Pros: A sniper in a German suit, ultimate sleeper status and a predator.
Cons: Frightened us, still have nightmares and slowly recovering.

Well to begin, I will admit that I’m power hungry and nothing will change that for a long time. This time round though, I was somehow muted at how insanely fast the M5 is. Let me put things into perspective, the Audi R8 V10 has a claimed sprint to 100km/h in 3.9 seconds and the V8 R8 at a claimed 4.4 seconds. The M5 competition package rockets to 100km/h in a claimed 3.8 seconds, yes these tests are conducted in ideal conditions and it’s near impossible to achieve them in the real world. What I’m trying to bring across is that, the M5 competition pack is a monstrous car. I haven’t felt such g forces since the Nissan GT-R.

Aesthetics.

BMW has worked very hard in perfecting their look and interior, the signature kidney grill springs to mind, and try as I may, I have never been a fan of the München based manufacturer but my current stint of experiences in their products is slowly turning me into a sellout. Yes other manufacturers may rank higher in the aesthetics and design department, but, BMW just seems to get it right not too much of this or that just simple and straight to the point. Once you have completed your ogling session of the M5 you slowly walk towards it, with a lot to say, it looks tame, lame and frankly like a barge on wheels. All that falls away immediately when you sink yourself into those exquisitely designed seats, it’s almost as though a cloud miraculously transformed into cow hide and was used to smoother the interior full of luxuries. As far as interiors go, there are very subtle differences in BMW’s lineup, but, when you mix all the elements together there is little to fault , It’s just so well made that I often wonder why I have refused to be seduced by the faultless arrangement BMW’s have.

The seats literally invite you and prepare you to be smothered in levels of comfort one would normally not experience, in a car below two bar. They have various adjustability settings to ensure you are straight up and ready to tackle the road ahead, even as a passenger the levels of comfort are astonishing. One worrying aspect of the interior though was the perishing seats, and for a car with less than 6000km’s, further exposure to the elements could result in noticeable damage.
Now for the tech heads, the once plagued iDrive system was BMW’s Achilles heel, it had way too many options, a very confusing interface and frankly pretty challenging to even the Jobs of the world. This new system though, is flawless, with a multidirectional option selector situated in-between the driver and passenger, you have a plethora of options you can select and play around with but as with all technology it does get boring with prolonged fiddling.

Performance

Okay, I have told you about the power, I have told you about how insanely fast this car is. I struggle to understand where this power battle is going to end. 500kW’s, 600kW’s or even 750kW’s which is Bugatti Veyron levels of power. It‘s insane and I fear for the owners of this car. One observation that sticks out is how young individuals who are fortunate enough to own these monsters could end up in a pile of metal, rubber and steel. I would urge owners of such vehicles to equip themselves with adequate driver training programs and add a Motorsport course as well. I am not saying the M5 is a bad handling vehicle that will slide at the slightest of wheel inputs, NO!!! It’s a gem around the corners, you will have your crowds screaming, chanting and praising its capabilities, but, don’t be fooled, you need to have the skill to harness its capabilities, it’s not a car that will negotiate with you, one mishap and it will send you sideways, backwards and leave you feeling confused. I will reiterate as I do on the weekly, do the funny stunts in a closed and secure location as this is not for the faint-hearted.

I will even put my head out on the block and say the M5 competition package is possibly the best car in the world right now. It will make super cars look silly, and make you feel like you retiring on a Baldacchino Supreme bed. And the astonishing thing is that it’s wrapped in a package that looks no different to a regular 5 series, and this is why it obtains the sleeper status we have given it. One sad note is the engine note, having synthesized noises being pumped through the speakers into the cabin is a BIG disappointment, especially when the competition has also gone the force fed direction but have retained that aggressive roar but to be frank that is about the only thing “wrong” with the mighty M.

Summary

I hardly bow down to executive sedans with gargantuan engines and impeccable handling, but this time round I will have to concede and bow, praise and acknowledge that the reign of the M5 will remain until the competition decides to catch a wake up. Some are close, namely the E63s and the RS7 which have an engine note that will make children quiver in their prams and have the gentlemen winding down their windows in anticipation of the glorious V8 soundtrack. What the competition lacks though is the effectiveness of how that power is delivered, besides the RS7 which sends its power to all four wheels on launch, but even with this advantage the M5 outshines them all, we acknowledge the small things that the engineers have mastered too, like the small brake pedal which enables you to heel and toe, it’s amazing how they have done everything right, is it my new favorite car? I think not, If I had the opportunity to keep it for longer, I’d be found hiding and far away from it, it’s a monster and it will continue to haunt my dreams.

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